Empty

I'd be lying if I didn't admit to myself that I feel empty inside. The worst part is that my life has no meaning ha ha ha. I am at 3:11 a.m on the cpu typing this, which no one gives a care, and I stop to think that years ago I'd be sleeping like a baby in bed. I don't think I even miss those years. I don't think I am capable of even feeling anymore! All that I was before and what I felt has transformed me into this new person of which I am not that proud of.

The news is that this is almost over with and I am still here wasting precious time. God, I hope I make it. I really do hope so.
It just feels as if ...

I am dreaming my life away...all I have to do is dream, dream, dream...

I can't read no more! ahhhhhhhh

I think that if I read anymore I might go crazy! ahhhhhh It's just too much to "swallow". I just hope that maybe something will stick to my brain. Ah, let's hope. Yeah, I should find another time to read also. This is not a very appropriate time to be up. Anyway, it doesn't matter. If I am not going to school, I should at least take advantage of this "library" called internet. I'm not even sure if I am spelling words correctly for God's sake!

That phrase right there just reminded me that I didn't read The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger today. See, I am a busy woman (yeah right lol). Well, I also understand that I need to concentrate on what's important, which is Jehovah, my God. Yeah, I was reading about religion and all these issues people have against Jehovah's Witnesses. My goodness, It's outrageous, in my opinion. Also, I am not surprised.

Furthermore, I should discontinue my chat doses. It severely cripples me. Yeah, I­t's like some people keep on yapping and don't let me read. This has only taught me a lesson, though. Do not go into Houston chat rooms. People, now I understand, are looking forward to meeting. NO, I am not looking for 34 year old weirdo's on the net, much less date them. Goodness!

Now, I believe I have finished complaining (although I do not like to, but do, for reasons unknown to me), I will go to sleep. I'll try to wake up early. This way, I will save myself the "speech" coming from my beloved mother.

so what's new?
Nothing, I tells ya!

I was thinking that the world is truly coming to an end. Yeah, the more time goes by the more children are being forced into the adult world. I don't really know what is going on or where the source of the problem is. It's not like it really matters, anyway, because no one listens. Fine, than all I have to do is maybe try to fix things, but I don't think I am capable of doing that. Well, crap! I'll just have to live with myself this way hmm...

It bothers me some, but it's not up to me to make decisions for everyone. I wish someone made decisions for me sometimes, but if I stop to think about it...well, I don't like it. I think it reeks lol.

ok, I got so mixed up with this.

Ok so i am doing this right now? because a while back i got into so much mess like you wouldn't believe. man! I keep on making typos everywhere. I feel stupid, frustrated, idiotic, all of the things you can think about. Dude! I wish had been born an intelligent person, but noooo i had to be dumb.

hello,

Today is a new day. Yes, I know that now. Maybe I was better off before than today because, at least, back then I was not sick. In any case, I am not going to type anymore. What I was thinking about is no longer there. Besides, talking to a guy while doing this is not helping. Tomorrow will be a better day...tomorrow.